I bet if you polled the writers who all wrote the same post about Michel Phelps reportedly having sex with a woman who was born intersex, almost all of them would say that being born intersex does not immutably determine someone’s gender identity and that it’s therefore no big deal if he did. But the fact that they wrote the posts inevitably contributes to the perception that this is a big deal. I assume that Phelps, as a successful and famous single athlete, has lots of sex, and good for him. Mostly I don’t think anyone would think of it as news. Writing a post about this sexual partner of his definitely sends the message that there is something unusual or prurient going on here, even if that cuts against the protests of the writers. Unfortunately, because the need for CONTENT is insatiable, and overworked bloggers and aggregators are constantly looking for easily-produced posts, the urge to write overwhelms the urge to diminish stigma by not writing.

Culture is more powerful than politics, particularly when it comes to issues like sexual practice. I’ve often felt that there’s a divide between what people explicitly say as a matter of sound politics and how they feel in an emotional and social sense. If someone you know starts dating a transgender person, would that change how that person is viewed by friends and acquaintances? I think even many progressive people who say and believe all the right things would inevitably view such a person in a different light, even against their own best wishes. That’s the kind of cultural change that takes longer than it does for people to develop explicit beliefs, and is as important or more important in the long run.

Of course, by using these posts as a means to make a meta-point, I am also casting attention onto Phelps and the woman he had healthy, mutually-pleasurable intercourse with. The mind is a complex maze.